Disclaimer: Dear reader because the article refers to sex does not mean whatever you think that means.
Please read with a fresh eye and mind for some basic steps to expanding and untangling life’s flow.

Diana Richardson wrote a book called “Slow Sex” which was inspired by a book called “The Slow Down Diet” by Marc Davids. I am learning again and again that subtle yet definite slowing down of the mind and being more aware of the body is extraordinarily helpful in bringing a qualitative difference to our lives. So I thought to see how the following few points from “Slow Sex”, all exquisite for sex, relate to the deep intimate sharing that can happen during therapeutic work.

  • Power of Relaxation
  • Power of Awareness
  • Power of Quality
  • Power of Rhythm
  • Power of Pleasure
  • Power of Thought
  • Power of Sacred
  • Power of Story

Power of Story– This is what most people come for a session with – a powerful story. Not to make the story any less significant or unimportant but to comprehend the story from perspectives that are yet to be seen the first step is relaxation…

Power of Relaxation – Relaxation like a cat waiting at a mouse hole, not wired and not floppy, relaxed alertness, ready, present and calm. Absolutely this is what client and facilitator require, not a manic poking at the wounds or avoiding what is – but an alive, relaxed waiting with awareness…

Power of Awareness – Being aware of the other, the sensation, the images, the feelings, the thoughts, the sky and the birds song are all very good, yet the real gift of awareness is it’s a double edged sword. On one side the subject the other side the object, and the very important space between subject and object. Being dyslexic I often just don’t get subject-object yet awareness holds you and me and the space between. This dual or maybe even tri awareness brings a quality…

Power of Quality – yes as we slow down enough to observe without fixing, judging, changing just a relaxed awareness there comes a new capacity, a new quality and if we slow down enough we notice that quality has a rhythm…

Power of Rhythm – the quality of our very lives depends on us re-establishing rhythm. The seasons, our moods, birth and death, togetherness and aloneness, male and female, too much and too little and just right – all of these require our ability to live with and accepting changing rhythms. Slowing down enough to notice the bodies rhythms opens us to pleasure…

Power of Pleasure – “Opening to more pleasure can spark metabolism and return the body to its natural state of balance… What I would like to suggest to you is that health, and by extension any action that promotes health, is inherently a deeply pleasurable experience.” The Slow Down Diet. If we can grow our tendency to find, nurture and share pleasure it will change our very thoughts…

Power of Thought – in Afrikaans there is a term “kak gedagtes” – translated by google it means shit thoughts. Without taking the time to slow down and find relaxation, awareness, quality, rhythm and pleasure we find most of our thoughts are shit thoughts. Taking or is it giving the time to slow down and be a bit silent we find our thoughts turn to the sacred… 

Power of Sacred – what is sacred? in Diane’s book she talks about eight sacred metabolic forces of love, truth, courage, commitment, compassion, forgiveness, faith and surrender. Give yourself a few minutes with relaxation, awareness, quality, rhythm, pleasure, thoughts and notice what happens. These are the gifts of slowing down and listening. What is sacred for you might be very different for me and right now i tell the story…

Power of Story– that we are here on planet earth for a very short time, that it is a miracle we ever actually meet, see, connect, hear, listen to each other or ourselves. If we have to speed up or slow down, pick it up or drop it, what ever it takes. As the stories of our lives go through many stages it is really helpful to keep coming back to relaxation, awareness, quality, rhythm, pleasure, thought and a sacred story…